Sandlewood Manor - Knowing Your Spouse's Love Language
Updated: Apr 25
People Speak Different Love Languages
"With all the books, magazines, and practical help available, why is it that so few couples seem to have found the secret to keeping love alive after the wedding? I believe the problem is: we have overlooked one fundamental truth – people speak different love languages. One husband said: “I tell her how beautiful she is. I tell her I love her. I tell her what a good mother she is. None of that seems to matter. She says she doesn’t feel my love. I don’t know what else to do.” His wife’s response: “If he loved me, he would help me around the house. All he does is watch TV. The problem? He is using words. She is crying for actions. If he wants her to feel loved, he must learn to speak her language. It’s as simple as that." - http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2018/06/people-speak-different-love-languages/
Our personal experience…
It is amazing how often we attempt to show our spouse love only to feel unappreciated in our efforts. In turn, this can lead to bitterness and resentment and ultimately cause us to quit trying. Early in our relationship, Lauren and I seemed to struggle with the same issues coming up over and over. In each of our best efforts, we were trying to show the other person love in the way we like to receive love. I remember voicing that I had been showing her love and specifically naming the things that I had gone through great effort to do for her. She told me the same and named the ways that she had been working to show me love. Neither of them were in the other’s love language so neither of us received those efforts as love. It was quite comical to see this exercise in futility expose itself in a relatively heated argument. We realized in that moment that we really needed to know how the other person needed to feel loved. We took the 5 Love Language quiz and it exposed each of our languages to each other.
In addition, Lauren felt called by God to ask me daily “How can I show you love today?” and when I would tell her, she would honor me with her actions to show me the specific love I asked for. I began to reciprocate, and we saw a dynamic change in our relationship. Eventually, we were showing each other so much love in the appropriate love language, that it became difficult to think of ways for the other to show love. We were already doing it!! This simple question allowed us to bypass any guesswork.
The key to this simple step is to honor the love request of your spouse. It could be as simple as her asking you to “do the dishes” or “take out the trash” or “help me put the kids to bed tonight.” Honor her request by your tangible actions and do it lovingly. He may ask for “uninterrupted, intimate time together” or for “help in disciplining the children” or “to voice more affirmation for the things he does for the family.” Honor him by taking the action to show this love for him. Remember, this isn’t a laundry list, it is one thing per day that you do for one another that specifically fulfills their primary love language that day.
At Sandlewood Manor, we are more than just an elegant wedding venue. Our true heart is to see the divorce rate in Houston decline and for marriage to be what God intended it to be. That is why we offer our Sandlewood couples access to our Love for a Lifetime program which is designed to provide resources and tools to guide these couples as they set the foundation for their lifelong marriage.
~ Shawn and Lauren Sparks (Owners)
"Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others." Philippians 2:4
Designer | Coordinator | Stylist: Shiva Saadi, Dream Photo and Video Inc., www. dreamphotovideo.com Ceremony | Reception Venue: Sandlewood Manor, www.sandlewoodmanor.com Photography: Dream Photo & Video, www.dreamphotovideo.com Cinematography: Dream Photo & Video, www.dreamphotovideo.com Furniture Rentals: Royal Luxury Event & Rentals, www.luxuryeventrentals.com Hair & Make-Up: Beauty By Rola, www.instagram.com/beautybyrola/ Stationery: Memory Lane Paperie, www.memorylanepaperie.com Wedding Dresses: Something Blue Bridal , www.somethingbluetexas.com Wedding Cake + Donuts: Iced n Frosted, www.instagram.com/icednfrostedhouston/ Tea Bar + Assorted Sweets: Baran Cakes and Catering, www.facebook.com/BaranCakesCatering/ Florals: Gallery Flowers, www.gallery-flowers.com