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Sandlewood Manor The 'In Love' Illusion

Updated: Apr 26, 2020

The ‘In-Love’ Illusion is Temporary

“The “in love” experience, which leads most of us to get married, is an emotional obsession that leads us to the conclusion that we have married the most wonderful person in the world. It’s an illusion, but it seems real, and it is one of life’s greatest emotional highs. But why doesn’t it continue after marriage? Because it is an illusion. That is why, before marriage, your mother could see their flaws, but you could not. Your mother said: “Darling have you considered that he’s always late? You reply, “Oh Mom, it doesn’t matter. He is so much fun when he does get here.” But when the illusion is gone, It does matter, and you start saying: “Why are you always late?” He is blown out of the water. He hasn’t changed. It is just that the illusion is gone. The in-love illusion is temporary. It’s average life-span is two years. This doesn’t mean that love is destined to die. It does mean that we must now work at keeping it alive.” -

Lauren and I really enjoy the blogs from the 5 Love Languages website and found The ‘In-Love Illusion is Temporary’ post eye opening.  What struck us most about this post is the average life span of the “in-love” feeling and emotional high.  Two years?  This means, with the average engagement period of 14 months, that the “in-love” high could wear off within the first year of marriage!  This is scary if your relationship is based on emotional love rather than a deep, unconditional, selfless love.  Is your relationship based on how he/she makes you feel and what you can get out of it?  We urge you to take a hard look at your intentions and expectations before you get married.  How do you define true love?

From our experience, we had this same “in-love” high.  It was an amazing time in our relationship.  The obsession of this high eventually did wear off, but by God’s grace, we learned through some struggles that first and foremost, we needed God in the center of our marriage.  We learned that it is possible to stay in love when our actions lived up to our words.  To put your spouse’s needs above your own selfish desires is love in action.  It is pretty simple, real love is valuing others above yourself.

Our mission at Sandlewood Manor is to truly be an all-inclusive wedding venue, recognizing that marriage is a lifetime commitment.  As a wedding venue our goal is not only to provide you an amazing wedding ceremony and reception, but to walk with our couples to provide insight and tools needed to build the foundation for an enjoyable, life-long marriage!

~ Shawn & Lauren Sparks (Owners)


"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Philippians 2:3

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